Fri Feb 19, 2010
Silence
The second of Benjamin Franklin's thirteen virtues is silence. Franklin defined the virtue of silence by adding the following: “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.” He was not suggesting that in order to be virtuous, we need to take vows of silence, never speaking a word. He is instead suggesting that one should learn when it is appropriate to speak and what is appropriate to say.
Let's face it. We live in a world where people scream to be heard. Even the television news anchors scream at us to get our attention. Flashing news feeds scroll along the bottom of the screen telling us “important information” even though it isn't what the talking head is currently shouting about. These tactics might get our attention, but in the long run, they don't earn our respect. Shouting louder than everyone else isn't something to be respected.
President Calvin Coolidge was known for not speaking. The nickname “Silent Cal” was appropriate for him. He became known as a person of few words. People would come to him and present their point or ask their question. When the person was finished speaking, Coolidge would just stare at them until they left. It is said that poet Dorothy Parker sat next to Coolidge at a dinner. “Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.” It is said that Coolidge replied, “You lose.”
How would Franklin encourage us to practice silence? First, he would encourage us to listen more than we speak. I know I could benefit from opening my ears and closing my mouth more. Secondly, I can also benefit from thinking before I open my mouth. We all know that if we think about what we are going to say before we speak it, we are less likely to have a foot-shaped mouth. Thirdly, don't fear silence. Lulls in conversation do happen. When meeting people for the first time, it is polite to fill in these gaps with some well-though out words. However, as we become more familiar with people, the need to constantly fill in these gaps seems insecure. Brett and Kate McKay state in their previously mentioned book that “a comfortable silence builds rapport just as well as ceaseless chatter.” I think that's true. Finally, silence helps us to fill our minds with virtuous and well-ordered thoughts. Philippians 4:8 encourages this kind of virtuous and well-ordered thought.
Have you ever met anyone who doesn't seem to have a filter between their brain and their mouth? Some people say exactly what they are thinking, and don't hold any punches when they talk. They often have to apologize for what they say. More than apologizing, they often dismiss their behavior by saying, “That's just the way I am. I say what I think.” But make no mistake. Our words are a reflection of how well-ordered our thoughts are. What we say is a reflection of what we think. Poorly chosen words that “just slip out” are a mirror of our thinking. Philippians 4:8 says to think about what is true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. If these are the kind of things that our minds are focused on, these are the things that we will speak.
So what are the practical benefits of practicing silence? We can observe a whole lot more when we are silent. A small benefit is that we add a sense of mystery to our character. If we are silent and only speak when we have something to say, we add to our own respectability and cause people to listen when we DO speak. Practicing silence also allows us to express ourselves through our actions.
Wed Feb 10, 2010
Temperance
As mentioned in the previous post, Benjamin Franklin made a plan for his life to attain moral perfection. He listed thirteen virtues that he would make a lifelong commitment to. The first virtue was “temperance.” Franklin defined this virtue as “eating not to dullness, and drinking not to elevation.”
The virtue of temperance wasn't first on Franklin's list by accident. He believed it to be the most important. He thought that of the thirteen virtues, temperance resulted in the self-discipline that was necessary to attain the remaining twelve virtues. He believed this because hunger and thirst are human needs. Because of the need for daily food and drink, these appetites are the most basic, and the hardest to control. Franklin would say that “a clear mind and a healthy body are prerequisites to the pursuit of the virtuous life.”
Temperance is a Fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5. The King James version translates the word “self-control” as “temperance.” Temperance is the habit of governing one's natural appetite for pleasure of the senses. In the New Testament, the most common Greek word for temperance is “enkrateia,” meaning “power over oneself.” Temperance, simply, means mastery over our passions. It is a virtue that holds our appetites in check.
I find Franklin's description of temperance to be interesting. “Eat not to dullness.” At first I wasn't sure I understood what “eating to dullness” meant. But I do know that the first few bites of a tasty dish are always the best. After I eat it for awhile, the vibrancy of the various flavors and textures of the food become, well, dulled. When did the tasty morsels at the beginning of the meal turn into the dullness of the last bite of the meal. Franklin's description indicates that temperance is noticing this transition on the palate, and not going beyond it.
I guess it is supposed to be that simple, isn't it? Eat when you are hungry, and stop eating when you are not. That doesn't take a diet book, or a weight loss plan. But it doesn't seem to be so simple when the meal is before us.
In order to notice the change in our palate from vibrancy to dullness, there are a few things we can do. In their book, “The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man,” authors Brett and Kate McKay suggest that we “Sit down for a proper meal. Savor each mouthful, and think about the flavors you are experiencing. Put your fork down between bites. When the flavors become less vibrant and your stomach starts to feel full, stop eating.” That is not an easy one, now is it?
Franklin further describes temperance by noting that one should not “drink to elevation.” I believe in personal responsibility. Excess drinking and personal responsibility seem to be in contradiction with each other. A virtuous person who believes in personal responsibility should be always present and in control of their own person in each situation. Dependencies are also an issue. Alcoholism is an obvious dependency. A less obvious dependency is the need for “strong drink” in order to feel confident, or to have a good time. Drinking to elevation can become a crutch—liquid courage, if you will.
The Temperance Movement that began in the 1830s was about curtailing the consumption of alcohol. Total prohibition was attempted, as were local licensing restrictions, and the encouragement of declarations of personal abstinence. The reason that the Temperance Movement was not successful is because temperance can't be legislated. It takes each person being in control of their own appetites--not the appetites of others.
Benjamin Franklin admitted that temperance was his virtue weakness. He enjoyed giving himself over to his physical appetites: food, beer, and even women.
Yet self-control (or temperance) is listed as a Fruit of the Spirit. I don't believe that God is stingy with the Fruits of the Spirit. We need to ask God for self-control, and He will give it as needed. Many times, when students come to my office because of some behavioral infraction, the root of the problem is self-control. Someone did something or said something they shouldn't have, because they weren't in control of themselves. Sometimes others are physically injured when someone isn't in control of themselves.
Self-control is something we all struggle with, if we are honest with ourselves. I Peter 5:8-9 exhorts us to be self-controlled and alert. We aren't exhorted to do this so that we can have “a happy life.” We are told to be self-controlled and alert because our enemy, the Devil, is prowling around, looking to devour us. We need to be self-controlled and alert so that we can resist him.
In what ways do you lose control of your appetites? Your actions? Your feelings? What are the short-term and long-term consequences of this lack of control? Does this lack of control effect other people? Would your life be better if you had more control over certain areas? Does the prowling Devil know that you struggle with self-control? If so, he has found your weakness. Be sure that he will use that weakness to gain power over you in any way that he can.
“If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.” Proverbs 25:16
“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28
“So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.” 1 Thessalonians 5:6
Thu Feb 04, 2010
Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues
As I was reading, I came across a reference to Benjamin Franklin and his 13 virtues. I knew that Benjamin Franklin was a great leader and diplomat of the United States, signing both the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. I knew he was the inventor who flew a kite and a key in a storm. I even knew that he was a prolific writer and author of the Poor Man's Almanac. But I had never heard of Franklin's 13 virtues.
I decided to do some research on the topic. Apparently, when Franklin was 20 years old in 1726, he was traveling via ship from London back to Philadelphia. He was reading Aristotle's encouragement to lead “the virtuous life.” He also read Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
On that ship, Franklin decided to do just that. He set for himself a lofty goal: to attain moral perfection. “I conceiv'd the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wish'd to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into.” Lofty goal indeed.
To help him attain this moral perfection, Franklin developed a plan. His plan consisted of 13 virtues. He even wrote short descriptions for each of the virtues. They are as follows:
1.Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2.Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3.Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4.Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5.Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself. Waste nothing.
6.Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7.Sincerity: use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8.Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9.Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10.Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11.Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's reputation.
12.Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
13.Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
His plan included paying close attention to one of the thirteen virtues each week. After having completed thirteen virtues in thirteen weeks, he would start again. This allowed him to go through the list of virtues four times in a year. He also developed a way to track his progress. He made himself a book of thirteen charts, one for each virtue. Each chart had a column for the days of the week, and rows for each of the thirteen virtues. Every night, upon retiring to his home, he would put a dot next to any virtues that he faulted on. Over time, he began to notice that he was putting fewer and fewer dots in his book.
He continued to strive to live out these virtues for the rest of his life. He wrote about his progress at the age of 79, stating at that time that he was even more determined to stick with his plan for the rest of his life because of the happiness he experienced by following the plan.
Of course, Franklin never did attain moral perfection. His love for wine and women are well documented. He stated, “Tho' I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavor, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.”
We know that moral perfection on this side of Heaven is not a possibility. Scripture and the Holy Spirit remind us of our sinful nature (Isaiah 53:6, Romans 5:12, Romans 3:12-18). But there is something to be said for striving to live out Philippians 4:8 on a daily basis. I will have to explore this further.
Our good news is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In Him, a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith. (Romans 1:17). He committed no sin, and no lack of virtue was found in him (1 Peter 2:22). He came so that He might take away our sins (1 John 3:5). And because of this, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him, we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Thu Jan 28, 2010
Father in Heaven
My daughter is 13 months old today. Despite some serious health difficulties early in her first year of existence, she is growing and thriving. She is running around our home, and even communicating her wants and needs. Having a baby in the house again is such a reminder to me of the importance of parenting.
I have heard that if a child has a warm, nurturing earthly father, he/she is more likely to also view God as a loving biological father. But the opposite is also true. A cruel biological father instills in a child a view that God is vindictive and malevolent.
When I became a parent, I began to understand a little bit how God the Father looks at us, his children. I can learn about my own relationship with God by paying attention to my relationship with my children. In watching my children and our relationship, sometimes the lesson comes in the comparison, and sometimes in the contrast.
The birth of my children brought me great joy. I wanted to tell everyone when each was born. And yet this is a small fraction of God's joy when one of His children is born again.
I want to spend every moment getting to know my children. God the Father wants us to get to know Him. He already knows everything about us (Psalm 139:1). He knows all our ways (Psalm 139:3). He knows when we sit down and when we rise up (Psalm 139:2). Even the hairs on our head are numbered (Matthew 10:29-31). He knew us even before we were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5).
I am thrilled when my children want to spend time with me.
We had our children's food ready when they indicated they were hungry, but we didn't force feed them.
I can see dangers ahead of my children of which they are completely unaware (such as an unprotected stairway).
I open my arms to comfort my children whenever they come to me, just as our Heavenly Father opens His arms for us whenever we call on Him (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Psalm 34:18).
Sometimes I grow weary of their cries. When my daughter cries, we don't always drop everything and run to her. We sometimes let her cry awhile. How fortunate we are that God doesn't make us wait because He doesn't feel like answering us (Romans 8:38-39).
I don't give my children everything they ask for. I know that it wouldn't be good for them. Yet, don't we often expect God to give us each of our requests? (Ephesians 3:20)
I get irritated when my children don't get along with each other. God must get tired of our constant squabbling with each other.
I love to hear my children sing. How much more must our Heavenly Father love to hear our praise?
Praise God that He goes so much farther for us than we can for ourselves and for each other.
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.” --Mathew 7:11
“As a father has compassion on His children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” --Psalm 103:13
Thu Jan 21, 2010
A Fan of Jesus?
I'm on Facebook. Facebook is a popular social networking site. Users can update their personal profiles to communicate their thoughts and ideas, or the happenings in their life. They can download photos for others to view, and participate in a wide variety of applications developed for Facebook. Users are able to connect with “friends,” and send them messages.
Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg in his dorm room at Harvard University. It was initially established as a social networking site for the 300 people that lived in the same dorm building as Zuckerberg. Today, Facebook has more than 350 million users, half of which log on to Facebook on any given day.
One of the many applications that users of Facebook have access to allows people to become a “fan” of something. By simply clicking a few buttons, users can become “fans” of thousands of different things. Some of these fan applications are expected: The St. Louis Cardinals, The Denver Broncos, or Manchester United. However, most of the applications people can become a fan of are weird and abstract. You can be a “fan” of flipping your pillow over to get to the cold side, restarting a song when you miss your favorite part, or using your cellphone to see in the dark. You can even be a “fan” of not being on fire. (I am certainly a fan of that, but don't see a need to make that part of my public profile.) Perhaps the most abstract is becoming a fan “of becoming a fan”--a real fan application on Facebook.
I came across a fan application that caused me to pause and think. Written on my Facebook page was a request to “become a fan of Jesus.” This means that somebody made a Facebook page for Jesus. In actuality Jesus has quite a few Facebook pages. Some of the pages have fans numbering in the hundreds. One site has fans numbering over 600,000.
I am a fan of my alma mater. I am a fan of Nervous Nellie's Jams and Jellies. I am a fan of babies sleeping through the night. Do I really want to include Jesus on this list of things? It doesn't seem quite right. It is difficult for me to put Jesus on the same list as my petty vices and small pleasures.
I want to be more than a “fan” of Jesus. I want to be more than an enthusiastic admirer that gets together once a week with other fans to cheer on Jesus. I want to do more than have the team logo (an ichthus) on my car, or wear the team clothes (a “Shine Jesus Shine” t-shirt). I want more than big crowds and excitement. I want a meaningful and important relationship with Jesus. I want to go beyond just being His fan.
Jesus isn't interested in having a lot of “fans.” He wants “followers.” I want to be a “follower” of Jesus, to borrow a term from another social networking site, Twitter. Following Jesus takes effort and hard work. It isn't necessarily convenient, and it isn't summed up in a simple formula. It means doing the difficult things: forgiving others, turning the other cheek, denying self, producing fruit, and loving our enemies.
Fans can be fickle, changing with the current climate. Followers are committed, in it for the long haul. Fans are looking for a good show. Followers are looking for meaningful vision. Being a fan is relatively easy. Being a follower is difficult at times.
“And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:27
“ Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'” Matthew 16:24
“When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'” -- John 8:12
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” --John 10:27